Sunday, July 8, 2012

oh, hey

 Well, it looks like I’ve been an absentee blog Mom over the past month or so. While a ton has been going on, it is also safe to say that New York has reached official “feeling like home” territory. Though it’s been pretty apparent since day one that it felt like home, now it just really does. The initial excitement kind of wears off but leave it to this place to constantly throw you little magical moments that remind you just how cool it is to live here. With that said, it isn’t a big ol’ Mary Tyler Moore Throwing Her Hat In The Air moment every day or anything. It’s just daily life and it’s up and it’s down. Just like anywhere. But after almost four months of living here, I finally landed a full time dream job in fashion (with an official title and everything!) in Manhattan that I will be starting in a couple of weeks. I know some people wait much longer than I did to land something real, sometimes even years, but for me it felt like forever. With that said, I am so happy I had patience, pressed on, hustled, until I found what made my heart jump up and say “Sarah, This is It.” And turns out? It was it. It’s my start. My foot in the door. And I am so thankful we wanted eachother. 
Before all of this happened, I flew back to Savannah last month with my family to officially graduate from SCAD. Put that cap & gown on, stomped across the stage, celebrated with family and friends. Just like it should be. It felt great and it was the perfect goodbye to that phase in my life. We rented out an old church that has been converted into a bed & breakfast/loft type place that was amazing. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Then it was back to the city and back to figuring out the next step. 

Up until this week, I had no idea what my next step was whether it was with finding a full time job, meeting new people, how I would manage to keep my face from melting off due to this damn heat wave. But finally, with good news about the job, I crossed off one big thing off my worry list and added a million new things to the list. With the addition of those things come big responsibility. A 9-6pm job, commuting everyday on the subway, having clients (!!!!), co-workers, a bigger paycheck, a door opened for me to step into to really try this whole “I Want a Job In Fashion” thing out. I’m finally going to get to do it. 
My nightmare has always been being one of those people that sit around, never doing anything, but pretending that they have it all or that they are something when they’re not. Afraid that I’d be one of those people that are so scared of putting themselves out there would be a failure so not trying at all was going to just be the norm. But by having endless people in 3 short months tell me “no”, it gave me a weird confidence and a feistiness to not take “no” for an answer. To just be like “Ok Thanks! Bye!” and go on to the next one. On a very small scale, I have learned that failing is what happens when success is on the way over being like “DO U WANNA HANG OUT TONIGHT?”, but only when you look at it the right way, which is oh so hard but possible. I hope that I just remember that always because I know bigger failures are ahead but I also know that bigger successes will come right along side them.

 I tend to like to be around people that make me want to be better and I am living in a place that constantly ingrains itself in my head everyday saying “Um, you can be better..”, like an inaudible voice of a bitchy 14 year old. But good god bitchy voice, keep talkin’. Keeps me in check. I want to be a better me, always. Did you miss my Jane Fonda words? Like anyone my age (wait, fuck that. Like ANYONE in GENERAL) I am a big ol' work in progress. Sometimes I lay in bed, incapable of falling asleep because I'm worried about everyone I love or worried about something bad happening. But then other times, I pass out like a baby with Netflix still playin' something embarrassing on my laptop that has become all hot and is burning my arm, not a care in the world. Do we ever figure this shit out? My guess is no. But somedays it's easier to think "I GOT THIS". Those are the good days, and let's hope to the lawd these good days keep outnumbering the weirdo ones.

 Having visitors, whether it’s family or best friends, is the best thing ever and nothing beats that little natural high you get when meeting someone new that is cool. Though of course normal human moments of loneliness or frustration occasionally occurs, I haven’t had a truly bad week since I’ve moved here. I hate the saying "I'm Blessed", because with there are plenty of horrible things occurring in the world everyday, I doubt "GOD" is like "Let Me Just Make Sure Sarah is OK", and nothing is at all perfect, but I am appreciative for life, ya know? You get what you put in.

Moral of this entirely too long 'catch up' post: Things are continuing to happen and I am happy about it.

ANYWAY enough preachy bull shit. Onto the instagram posts of random stuff like pictures of beer, Brooklyn and pretty things.

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