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This week I started training for my new full time job in the fashion industry. Although I'm not full time until the 30th of July, I can already sense the change. I won't get into detail about what the job is or who it's for, and it's only the first couple of days so it is so very very new. This new opportunity is both terrifying and absolutely, 100% exciting. I geeked out secretly inside when the girl training me referred to where my desk would be, my client list and how I'd get my own business cards. The position is my first shot to really do exactly what I have wanted to do since I was five years old. I just want to work so hard and learn so much. I really, really do.

But let's be honest here. Nothing will bring you down to earth faster than struttin' down 7th avenue in some new wedges, like "I GOT THIS, EVERYONE! Hello! I HAVE ARRIVED!" and then having an insane homeless woman try to (unsuccessfully) steal your bag and call you "a damn bitch".

Let's hear it for New York. Concrete Jungle where Dreams are Made Of.

moonrise kingdom

There is just something about Wes Anderson's aesthetic that makes my heart feel like it's being filled with nine thousand butterflies and (tasteful) glitter stars. So naturally, I had to see Moonrise Kingdom and loved it. Seeing it at the BAM made it ten times better. It was one of 'those' moments. I never want to step foot in a normal movie theater ever again after going there. Beautiful ones only, please.

And I love this song always.

i love kimbra!

 

perfect summer jam

june-ish and july-ish

 The past week has been calm and not as sweaty. I'm in the midst of my last two weeks finishing up at the shop I've been working at for the past three months. My bosses are away on vacation so I have the store 'to myself' for the whole week which has been nice and feels like a slow, pleasant goodbye. Learning the ins and outs of running a small store has been very interesting and building relationships with customers, seeing people come in anxious & hungry for something to make them feel pretty and then leaving feeling satisfied and better has to be the top reason why I want to be in this industry. Sometimes it's the tiniest things, such as a new dress or blouse, that can make a day feel a bit better. Not to mention, all of the adorable babies that come in each day with their moms. I just love that. But this tiny chapter is closing.

Luckily the shop is closed on Mondays so I was able to go to my niece Maya's 9th birthday celebration at the American Girl Place in Manhattan which, I'm not going to lie, fulfilled my inner little girl's dream. That place is the cutest. When I was little, I carried around my dolls as if they were my children. My first was Molly McIntire, who I chose solely because she had glasses. Then came Bitty Baby and then the doll that looked just like me. I would lug all three around as if they were my screaming kids. Arranging playmates with my friends and their dolls, which obviously always ended in some sort of fight but that's the way the world works y'all. Bringing them to restaurants, giving them their own plates & tearing off pieces of my own food to give to them. Keep in mind, their mouths didn't even fully open. There was no digestion, sense of taste. They were plastic. I knew this. Didn't matter.

When Molly's head fell off, it was a dark time. I sent her away to the American Girl Doll hospital, with tears in my eyes like an old war wife sending her son off to war (a lil drama for ya) only to have her come back home to me not only with a new head, shiny new hair, an ID bracelet, hospital gown & a get well balloon. Guys, it was the first time I cried tears of joy. I'm pretty sure that I carried those broads around everywhere til I was way too old.

So, lets' just say having a little lunch and spending time with my favorite little girls at this haven for all things GIRL was a great way to spend a Monday in the city. So glad I am close enough to my family now that I don't have to miss too many 'moments', especially moments that thrill my inner American Girl Mom that is still silently going strong in this almost 24 year old body. 

Happy 9th Birthday Maya. I love you

oh, hey

 Well, it looks like I’ve been an absentee blog Mom over the past month or so. While a ton has been going on, it is also safe to say that New York has reached official “feeling like home” territory. Though it’s been pretty apparent since day one that it felt like home, now it just really does. The initial excitement kind of wears off but leave it to this place to constantly throw you little magical moments that remind you just how cool it is to live here. With that said, it isn’t a big ol’ Mary Tyler Moore Throwing Her Hat In The Air moment every day or anything. It’s just daily life and it’s up and it’s down. Just like anywhere. But after almost four months of living here, I finally landed a full time dream job in fashion (with an official title and everything!) in Manhattan that I will be starting in a couple of weeks. I know some people wait much longer than I did to land something real, sometimes even years, but for me it felt like forever. With that said, I am so happy I had patience, pressed on, hustled, until I found what made my heart jump up and say “Sarah, This is It.” And turns out? It was it. It’s my start. My foot in the door. And I am so thankful we wanted eachother. 

Before all of this happened, I flew back to Savannah last month with my family to officially graduate from SCAD. Put that cap & gown on, stomped across the stage, celebrated with family and friends. Just like it should be. It felt great and it was the perfect goodbye to that phase in my life. We rented out an old church that has been converted into a bed & breakfast/loft type place that was amazing. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Then it was back to the city and back to figuring out the next step. 

 

Up until this week, I had no idea what my next step was whether it was with finding a full time job, meeting new people, how I would manage to keep my face from melting off due to this damn heat wave. But finally, with good news about the job, I crossed off one big thing off my worry list and added a million new things to the list. With the addition of those things come big responsibility. A 9-6pm job, commuting everyday on the subway, having clients (!!!!), co-workers, a bigger paycheck, a door opened for me to step into to really try this whole “I Want a Job In Fashion” thing out. I’m finally going to get to do it. 

My nightmare has always been being one of those people that sit around, never doing anything, but pretending that they have it all or that they are something when they’re not. Afraid that I’d be one of those people that are so scared of putting themselves out there would be a failure so not trying at all was going to just be the norm. But by having endless people in 3 short months tell me “no”, it gave me a weird confidence and a feistiness to not take “no” for an answer. To just be like “Ok Thanks! Bye!” and go on to the next one. On a very small scale, I have learned that failing is what happens when success is on the way over being like “DO U WANNA HANG OUT TONIGHT?”, but only when you look at it the right way, which is oh so hard but possible. I hope that I just remember that always because I know bigger failures are ahead but I also know that bigger successes will come right along side them.

 

 I tend to like to be around people that make me want to be better and I am living in a place that constantly ingrains itself in my head everyday saying “Um, you can be better..”, like an inaudible voice of a bitchy 14 year old. But good god bitchy voice, keep talkin’. Keeps me in check. I want to be a better me, always. Did you miss my Jane Fonda words? Like anyone my age (wait, fuck that. Like ANYONE in GENERAL) I am a big ol' work in progress. Sometimes I lay in bed, incapable of falling asleep because I'm worried about everyone I love or worried about something bad happening. But then other times, I pass out like a baby with Netflix still playin' something embarrassing on my laptop that has become all hot and is burning my arm, not a care in the world. Do we ever figure this shit out? My guess is no. But somedays it's easier to think "I GOT THIS". Those are the good days, and let's hope to the lawd these good days keep outnumbering the weirdo ones.

 Having visitors, whether it’s family or best friends, is the best thing ever and nothing beats that little natural high you get when meeting someone new that is cool. Though of course normal human moments of loneliness or frustration occasionally occurs, I haven’t had a truly bad week since I’ve moved here. I hate the saying "I'm Blessed", because with there are plenty of horrible things occurring in the world everyday, I doubt "GOD" is like "Let Me Just Make Sure Sarah is OK", and nothing is at all perfect, but I am appreciative for life, ya know? You get what you put in.

Moral of this entirely too long 'catch up' post: Things are continuing to happen and I am happy about it.


ANYWAY enough preachy bull shit. Onto the instagram posts of random stuff like pictures of beer, Brooklyn and pretty things.

Oh, just marry me Matt Ward. Let's get it over with already. 

outdoors.

It has taken me 23 years to realize that I am in fact an outdoorsy person. I always felt weird because I hate the beach. I don't find it relaxing, I'm not a t-shirt & flip flops, no makeup kind of girl. I get bored easily sitting around in a pile of sand, with the wind blowing, dirty feet and ultimately feeling like a big ol' junkshow. So I just assumed "Oh hey. I hate the outdoors!". Turns out, I don't. Give me parks, gardens, backyards/patios, outdoor strolls that last hours, porches, etc. and I'm a happy girl. Once I moved to Savannah, I started appreciating being outside and the beauty of wandering, marveling in the different aspects of nature in the South that were so foreign to me. In my first apartment, my roommate Jordan and I took any opportunity to spend hours on the porch whether it was just the two of listening to music, drinking wine and listening to music or inviting friends over. Even after I moved out, I tried to be outside as much as possible unless it was 900 degrees out which it often was down south.

That 'porch' way of life really stuck in me and that's one of the things my life in Brooklyn is missing. However, Brooklyn is still such a happy medium of the urban experience and a little village feel. Being so close to Prospect Park is one of the biggest perks of living here because the second you step foot there, it feels as if you're anywhere but a city. The areas surrounding the park are as dreamy as they come and the whole place is just magical and inspiring. I could wake up in the most awful mood and the second I start movin' and breathe in fresh air, everything feels better. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go pick up beetles or stroll around barefoot, proclaiming "I'm a hippie". (Ps: anyone who announces that they are a certain label is trying too hard) I just like what I like and i'm pretty sure loving being outdoors isn't obscure unless you're one of those people on TLC with asses that are literally attached to their couches or women who get manicures every three days & wear juicy couture track suits.

I'm the type of person that is motivated by observing and seeing others doing better than me or obtaining and exposing myself to things, places, ways of life that I would like to one day have. This area is a good place for me because wandering around, I feel so overcome with motivation. My brain is a big mess of thoughts lately, wondering all of those cliche thoughts of "What is my purpose on Earth?", "What am I going to do with my career?", "Where am I going to go in life?" and "Will I make money, new friends, find love, etc.?". I know that every phase in life is filled with different variations of those questions and to think that we ever find a true answer to all of those is silly. Once you figure one thing out, another question comes. Regardless of that whole deal, it's nice to wander with tons of unknown questions on the brain in a place that makes me want to be better. I pass by the beautiful brownstones, on-the-go cool young people or cute families strolling around, pretty store fronts and markets and think "Alright, this is what I want for a long time".